a couple of pet peeves of mine..

people who kick the back of my chair at the movie theaters.
once? totally fine.. you could have been shifting your legs or something.
twice? you're getting on my nerves now, and i'm gonna turn my head around so you get the point..
three times? i'm gonna turn around and say something.
at the theaters on sunday, this woman behind me must've done it 5 times, and i finally turned around, but she had her back turned to me talking to someone behind her. so i told her friend, who saw me staring, "can you tell your friend to stop kicking the back of my chair?"
and her friend's like, "oh... i don't think it's her"
and my bf and i stare at each other... and i'm like, "there's no one else behind me, so yeah... has to be her"

and another pet peeve? when people behind us are like, "i HATE people who smoke. it's so disgusting"..
that's great. of course, you don't have to like it. but, these people say it, thinking i'm gonna like put my cigarette out for you? please...
world does not revolve around you.
get it right.

it's complicated is a very funny movie :)
i recommend

oh & watch iris too!
i'm not gonna say anything about the series (don't worry.. i hate it when people ruin movies for me too.. another HUGE pet peeve of mine)
but let's just say, i wasn't a big fan of the ending, and so my bf remade the ending for me :) and i was able to go to sleep like a baby after~

personality survey

i'm just doing these surveys to keep myself entertained. don't read if you're bored :)

Do You Like Your Name?
no, too common.

What Age Would You Like To Be Right Now?
i would love to stay at the age of 21... 22 sounds really old..

Do You Have Pets?
yes.. 2 dogs & a puppy :) (pomeranian, shih tzu, & a pitbull/husky mix)

What's Your Favorite Color?
pink :)

Do You Like To Go Shopping?
.. duhhhhhhh.
this is how the conversation goes b/n me & my bf when i come home from shopping.
me: look at all these pretty things i got baby!
bf: oh nice... how much did you spend?
me: i bought all these like on sale! and you know this coat? people would buy coats for like $200, but mine was $40!
bf: nice... how much did you spend?
me: and guess whatttt... i got a couple of t-shirts for you :) aren't i such a great gf?? i don't just buy myself stuff, i buy YOU stuff~~
bf: thank you~~ how much did you spend?
me: oh like $100, give or take $200. more.. or.. less...

Are You Into Sports?
i'm into watchin sports. like basketball & ufc.
i also like to play basketball & fight ufc style w/ my bf. and it's great b/c i always win.

What's Your Favorite Hobby?
scrapbooking. i want to save up money and start doing that again.

Do You Like To Read?
yes chick lit.

What Do You Do When You Are Mad?
i cry. scream into my pillow. play music really loudly.

What Word Do You Catch Your Self Saying A Lot?
seriously?

MacDonald's Or Burger King?
mickey d's please :)

Coke Or Pepsi?
pepsi. diet coke.

Summer Or Winter?
summer..

Are You Nice To Everyone?
nope

Do You Like Swimming?
mm. i like dippin in the pool and then sunbathing in a chair.

How Do You Do Your Hair Often?
like once every 3 months.

What City Or State Would You Like To Go To?
new york! concrete jungle where dreams are made of.

What Kind Of Ice Cream Do You Like Most?
mint chocolate chip.

Hot Cheetoes Or Doritos?
hot cheetos!

Do You Like School?
no.. who does?

Are You In School?
yep

Do You Play Video Games?
yep. bully is my favorite. tried playing cod against my bf.. epic fail. i cannot control the player & aim the gun. it's really hard.

What Do You Do For Fun?
ride as a backpack on my bf's motorcycle, read fashion & gossip mags, play w/ the dogs, hang out, etc.

Do You Talk A Lot In The Phone?
not at all... hate it in fact. prefer texting.

Are You More Shy, Or Talkative?
a bit of both

Do You Like Going Outdoors?
yesssss. i wanna go camping~

Do You Like Rainy Days?
nope.

Do You Have A Favorite Restaraunt? If Yes, Which One?
mm.. black angus or chili's! yummyyy

Are You Awesome?
uh.. yeahh

Honestly, Are You?
mos def

yay! survey! bored @ work.

Do you sleep in your bra?
50% of the time

Do you enjoy drama?
to a certain degree.. it has to be like once in a while, just to keep things exciting. but if my life was FULL of drama, i would not be able to handle it.

Are you a girly girl?
when it comes to like outer appearance (clothes, hair, & make-up). but, i can be a guy's girl too.

Last person you hugged?
my baby

Small or big handbags?
big.. i have too much shit to carry around.. but then i have SUCH a hard time finding stuff in my big purses... so i get frustrated.

Do you think you’re conceited?
mm.. not really no. i mean don't get me wrong, i have my moments.. :)

Do you dress up on Halloween?
starting since i got into college, i got all into it~ i was a fallen angel, a girl scout, and a gangster girl. i'm already excited about next year! haha

Are you double jointed?
nope!

Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
haha i answered this before. under my sister's bed when i was like 6 or 7 because we had just gotten separate rooms (after having slept on bunk beds) and i was too scared to sleep by myself. but my sister didn't want me sleeping in her room, so i went into her room in the middle of the night and slept under her bed so she couldn't find me. she did the next morning and was mad. :)

Has anyone touched/smacked your butt ?
yes.. multiple people, multiple times.. people say i have a smackable butt.. thank u?

Last person you hung out with?
my baby & daniel

Do you call anybody by their last name?
nope..

How many guys will read this just because it says Lady Survey?
uh.. i'm not gonna name it that, so i don't know.

Do you wear makeup?
uh........ yeahhhhh

Ever cried at a movie theater?
yes.... titanic, stepmom, lion king, ... to name a few~

Can you put on mascara without opening your mouth?
interesting question!! haha i started re-enacting me putting on mascara to see what my facial expression is like. i think my lips are slightly apart when i do it.

Do you think Ryan Sheckler is cute?
umm.. sounds familiar. but i guess not cute enough for me to remember what he looks like.

Eyeliner or Mascara?
both

Louis Vuitton or Dooney?
LV

Heels or sneakers?
duh. heels. i only own one pair of sneakers.. and that's for the gym..

Straight or curly hair?
i have straight hair. but i like both.

Hoops or dangling earings?
both

Do you prefer light or dark haired guys?
dark haired

Are you currently frustrated with a guy?
nope, we talked it out yesterday

Do you have a best friend?
yep

Have you ever had your heart broken?
yep

Have you ever thought of having plastic surgery?
yep

Do you like your life?
at times. yep

Has your ex boyfriend ever gone out with one of your friends?
nope

Ever walked into the guys bathroom?
many many times.
1st time: i was drunk and really needed to pee and none of the girls in line were letting me cut, so the guys in line let me go in theirs first (single person bathroom..).
2nd time: i went to the bathroom in korea. and i went in the stall, did my business. OH! bathrooms in korea are cool... there's an ashtray for you in the stall... so you can smoke & do your business~ it's pretty awesome. anyways. so i'm in there, and i hear a guy coughing. i'm like WTF??? i stay in there, quiet. and wait until he leaves. and when i come out of the stall, i notice the guy urinal things on the wall that i didn't even see when i came in. i went out there so fast!

Have you ever jumped in the pool with your clothes on?
nope. i've been PUSHED in.

Would you ever tell someone you loved them even though you didn't mean it?
nope

Have you ever slapped a boy in the face?
nope. i've always wanted to try. and throw a drink in someone's face :)

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
many many times.

Have you ever not been able to get someone off of your mind?
many many times.

Do you believe in the saying once a cheater, always a cheater?
i did. but i also believe people can truly change.

Have you ever had a good feeling about something?
yep

Do you ever wish you were famous?
yep!

Are you currently missing someone?
yep

Contacts or Glasses?
contacts

Funny or Serious?
funny

Romantic or Daredevil?
both

Cute or Hot?
hot

Long Hair or Short Hair?
..are we talking about guys here now? way to give me notice.. short

Good Dancer or Good Singer?
singer. i used to think dancer. but how often do couples like go clubbin and the guy starts busting out like dance moves. singing, you can hear anywhere & everywhere. dancing IS hot.. jabbawockeez~~. but for a bf, i'd prefer good singer.

Basketball Player or Football Player?
both are hot.

Why isn't ice hockey ever a choice?
b/c if i wanted to see fighting and blood. i'd watch ufc.. not stupid ice hockey.

Smoker or Non-smoker?
doesn't matter.

Has a Motorcycle or Has a Sports Car?
:) motorcycle. i have a sports car, so no need for him to have one.

Summer, Winter, Spring or Fall?
summer. always.

ladies.. whatever happened to playing hard to get?
playing the game is what we have over boys..
*sigh*.. the younger these girls get, the easier they get.
and yes, nothing to complain about for the guys.. and go ahead ladies, i'm not saying it's wrong to sleep with guys, but don't be all heart-broken if all you end up to be is a one-night stand.
the whole "chase" thing NEVER gets old.
the "easy" thing.. ALWAYS gets old.
it's just not fun for guys.. guys like unattainable girls.. so why would they keep someone they could sleep with on the first date?

trust me..
get them to keep asking you out. and reject them several times. no matter how badly you want to be with them.. ;P hahaha

wow i'm drained!
didn't know having a puppy is so much work...
when i had ducci, i wasn't allowed to have him inside the house, so he was always just locked up in the laundry room.
so i basically wasn't really learning the full experience of having a puppy.

this new one we got.. tiring, to say the least.
i wake up to her biting my cheek, chin, ears, fingers, anything she could get her mouth on.
AND.. i swear i'm getting a bald spot on my head. i always wake up to her friggin gnawing on my scalp and she's always chewing on my hair and pulling it.
she does this for a couple of hours before she tires out and knocks the eff out~
and.. trying to make sure she doesn't chew on any cords.. making sure she doesn't bite our 2 other doggies..

but she's friggin' cute..
can't post any pics up because i'm on my work computer..
but i will once i get home.

she's still fascinated by her reflection in the mirror. she's always pawing at the mirror and licking it. it's pretty friggin cute.
and she has to be leaning on me or my bf when she's sleeping. if i move, she whines in her sleep and scoots her body so it's propped up against me.

weirdddd..
i just saw this on ktla.com!
it's deep-fried foods.. and there are some of the weirdest things!!
i mean, i've heard of deep-fried snickers, deep-fried twinkies, & deep-fried pickles (all courtesy of the oc fairr...) but some of these things are off the wall!
the last one is the weirdest invention!



deep-fried starfish
ok... first of all.. who eats starfish? what do u dip it in i wonder..

deep-fried green beans
this sounds really good actually :) because i love green beans. it's the same as fried mushrooms & zucchini which i also love!

deep-fried tarantula
...eww... is all i can say...

deep-fried bacon..
have an ambulance on standby.. that just sounds so... heart-attacky..

deep-fried strawberry..
that actually sounds... interesting..

deep-fried apple

deep-fried reese's cup
mmmmm.. sounds good :) i loved the fried snickers, so this must be just as good :)

deep-fried pizza
yeahhhhh.. like pizza itself isn't greasy & unhealthy enough for you as it is!! this shit is crazy.. who would eat this??

deep-fried soda..
ok.. how is that even posssible????? i really wanna try this though! i don't get how.. weird!

isabella luong is the biggest slut i've ever known.
i don't know how she looks at her fat ass ugly face in the mirror every morning.
i'd kill myself.

and i'm dead serious.
anyone knows her, pass the message.
tell her that she needs to get a life and go lose weight at the same time if she's ever wanting to get fucked by a guy.

so i go out to these bike nights w/ my man
and i've met some really cool guys.
keyword in that sentence: guys..
i realized that i just don't seem to click w/ a handful of the girls i meet on there.
don't get me wrong. i've met a few girls that are down-to-earth and chill. but at the same time, i don't go out of my way to try and hang out with them b/c there's still not a clicking factor there.
i mean, as everyone knows, i've always had more guy friends than girls, because i just don't get along with girls, period. whether they ride or not, it doesn't matter.
because, girls are so competitive and catty and always trying to bring each other down, i'm just not for that. but having guys as friends are so drama-free. they don't try and compare themselves to you and talking about you behind your back and stupid shit like that.

now back to the subject on girl riders... i know i'm gonna get a lot of hate, but just to be clear. i'm not stereotyping on ALL girl riders.. just a handful of ones that i've met so far. and again, i have met some cool girls that DON'T use their bikes to try and up their "hotness" factor... or lack thereof..

i'm all for girls wanting to ride. but don't ride if the main reason for it is so that you can try and look hot in front of guys. really?
and the guys aren't really helping. they see a girl on a bike and immediately start trying to get w/ her and giving her all this attention.. in the end.. majorly inflating the biker chick's head... to the point where she can't even fit it back inside her helmet.
i was talking to one of the guys from the bike nights, and he was telling me that he doesn't like most of the girls from there because they think they're hot shit just because they ride.
i was like, "thank God i'm not the only one that's feeling that way!"
and he made a valid point by saying, "most of these girls that the guys are trying to hit on aren't even hot! if they happened to be walking down a street.. no guy would even do a second glance. but if she happened to be walking to her bike, then it's a whole other story!"

when i go to these bike nights, i try to go w/ an open mind because i'm not gonna stereotype and think that every biker girl is like this, because they're not.
i mean, if it doesn't affect me, whatever, go do your thing and try and look good on on your bike (even though you'll never be Megan Fox in Transformers status).
but, it's the ones that affect me that piss me off.
for instance, an ugly fat ass girl thinks she has the ability to steal my man from me.
seriously? i don't get mad b/c i think it's friggin hilarious. but then i get irritated b/c i'm thinking, 'do you really think that my bf will leave me for you?'
or some of these girls like turn their nose down at me and say, "oh you don't ride? why not? it's not hard. i got it on my first try"
congratufuckinglations... did i tell you that i don't ride b/c i failed my MSF? no.
maybe i don't want to ride because i don't want to end up in crutches or road rashes all over my body. the only kind of scars i want on my body are tattoos.

if you need a bike to make u look hot and give head.. sorry.. i mean get ahead with boys... go for it. :)
just don't expect me to all friendly with you if you're gonna be a bitch about it.
i really don't care for bitches who seek attention.

that is all :)
HAPPY FRIDAY!

wow.. i thought this day would never end. but it's only 2 more hours to go until work is done for me! :)

what made it worse for me today was that it felt like someone was stabbing a knife into my skull... it was the worse pain ever!
i couldn't even sit up straight, so thank God that my boss was in meetings all day because i rested my head for a good portion. but i took some pills, drank several cups of water, and now i'm good to go~~

i had a good weekend.
went by too fast, but it was good, nonetheless.
i dropped by my baby's work in la on saturday.
i bought a necklace, 2 bracelets, a big pack of hair ties, 9 pairs of fake eyelashes (it comes as a bunch), 6 pairs of earrings.. all for $42.. yeahhhh man.
and then on sunday, i watched as my baby did a good job of trying to change the oil on my car, but the drain plug was on too tight. so i saw him & daniel switching off, trying to loosen it.. to no avail.
as he was trying to put back the mercedes back for me.. i tried to be as helpful as possible. so i sat on the ground next to him as he was laying under my car. and he asked me to pass him the small bolt. i thought.. "simple". i handed him the two small bolts. and then he asked for the 2 big bolts. i looked at my hands.. and there were 4 big bolts.. so i told him exactly that. he pauses.. comes out from under the car and looks at the bolts in my hands.
him: "...those are the small bolts"
me: "......how in the world can these be the small bolts???"
him: "you're supposed to determine what a small or big bolt is by looking at the size of the head of the bolt.. not just the size of the entire bolt in general."
me (i stare at him. stare at the bolts.. stare back at him.): "oh... well... how am i supposed to know that!?"
haha.. i seriously tried to be as helpful as i could. and i failed... miserably.
i couldn't even do something as simple as handing him the right bolts when he needed them.
*sigh*. i admit, i can be very useless at times. i definitely have my moments.

ok, back to filing documents, naming them, and trying to get my boss to pay his friggin bills!!!

“Women tear each other apart. Girls think I’m a slut, and I’ve been in the same relationship since I was 18. The problem is, if they think you’re attractive, you’re either stupid or a whore or a dumb whore. The instinct among girls is to attack the jugular.”
- Megan Fox.

God, i love her.

seriously, i think it's so stupid when people label a girl a whore based on what they look like or the persona they seem to give off. i only call a girl a slut/whore/ho when she acts like one. IE: hooking up with tons of meaningless guys, and.. uh i think that's about it. i've never called a girl a slut just because of how she was dressed or how she looked (only if i'm totally joking and don't mean it).. haha. no seriously though.

a girl wears a short skirt and so now she's a whore? please...
it's called liking fashion.
i adore skirts and i like to dress up when i go out and stuff. that does not a whore make.
learn the definition before you decide to label someone under a certain category. it just makes u ign'ant!
i have only had one boyfriend since i was 20. and had my first kiss (which was totally gross btw) at 19 years old. do the math.

i like to make sexual jokes/remarks. i like to dress to show off my body. i like wearing make-up. but that's me 50% of the time. the other 50%? i'm quiet at times while jokes are being made. i go out in sweats and baggy shirts and my boyfriend's sweaters. at times, i don't feel like putting shit on my face.
yes, i'm a whore.

i feel like something's off..
something just doesn't feel right, but i don't know.

anyways.
so my boss is gone for the moment.. so i'm blogging! it's been a while..
anyways.. today.. i'm just at the computer.. and my boss is w/ his client and he comes over and tells me that he needs to talk to me when the people leave. and he looks really stern.
i've never seen him give me that expression before. even when he's yelling at me, he's not being serious about it.. but he looked DEAD serious.
so i just said, "ok.." and the whole time i'm thinking, "did i fuck up a file? did i name a document wrong? wtf..."

so the people leave.. and when i say bye to the clients. the husband smiles and says bye, but the wife won't even look at me and just leaves. i'm thinking, "whatever.."

so my boss comes and has me go into the other attorney's office and he closes the door. i just stand there and my boss looks at me, tries to say something.. stops himself.. and then does that again. so i finally was like, "did i do something wrong?"
boss: "no"
me: "...?"
boss: "jenny.. you're a very pretty girl so you can't be wearing what you're wearing"
me: "O_O??? what...??"
boss: "ugh.. help me out w/ this" (he's talking to the other attorney)
atty #2: "less skin, more professional"
me: ".. i thought it was casual fridays"
boss: "well a client complained that what you're wearing is TOO REVEALING and that it's not fit for a law firm"
me: ".. i'm like fully covered up. the casual thing, i just thought it was casual fridays, so i didn't think to look TOO professional. but if you want me wearing professional clothes on fridays, i'll do it"
boss: "well yeah could you? since you're the face of the company, you can't be dressing casual like the rest of us"
me (completely dumbfounded): "ok... but is this seriously revealing?"
boss: "the client complained so.."
and he sticks his hand out for a high five: "could you dress more professional, even on fridays?"
me: "yeah, that's no problem"

THE REVEALING CLOTHES i was wearing...
i wish i had a picture.. maybe when i get home, i'll upload a picture, and i can get an outside point of view...
- hair in a ponytail
- long black dickies jeans
- an off-the shoulder top that ended around my mid-thighs.. so not belly button or exposed back or any shit like that. the top comes up to around my collarbone area, so no boobage.. and literally? the only skin i'm showing are my arms & the tops of my shoulders..

so imagine how confused i was..
and i went to go talk to my paralegal (who's a girl) and i was like, "seriously.. it's not like i woke up this morning and was like, 'hmmmmm.. how slutty can i dress today???'"
of course, she cracked up.
and my bf says that maybe i'm a slut in denial? yeah.. some boyfriend huh.. hahah

anyways.. guess i'm going clothes shopping this weekenddddddddd :)
i mean... i now have an excuse to... hahaha

http://www.ktla.com/news/landing/ktla-cigarette-beating,0,7963479.story

it's a good thing i've never said no to someone who's wanted to bum a cig off of me....
fuckin' insane ass people out there...
it seems like there's even more of them after this whole economy thingy..

seriously.. i think years from now, everyone's gonna look like plastic.
there are so many damn surgeries in the world.
the newest craze? removing back fat that cannot be gone from just exercising..
i don't think that's NOT possible.
when you run. you lose fat all around your body.
so it shouldn't be hard to lose the fat from your back...

.. have you ever seen a thin girl with back fat???
uh no.
so i think that's a stupid new procedure...
people are insane..

i miss going clubbing.
but... i can't seem to figure out what exactly the reason is that i miss it...

hmm i think i'll list my clubbin experiences and maybe YOU can tell me what the reason may be..

- creeper drilling a whole into me while i'm dancing & finally after 20 minutes he comes and asks if i want to dance. and i say "well... i really want a drink first" (my way of saying no.. cause what guy really is gonna buy a girl a drink just for a dance?.. well that's what i thought at least). he looks at me and goes, "you want me to buy you a drink just so i can dance with you?" me: yep!. him: "fuck that. you're expensive" me: "ok! bye!". i continue to dance. he continues to stand on the side and stare at me. and then 10 mins. later, he comes back and says, "hey, ok, let me buy you a drink" me: "no thanks! not in the mood to drink anymore". he storms off pissed. and then later when i'm leaving the club. i'm thinking that i'm holding my gf's hand b/c someone slipped their hand into mine and she was walking behind me. suddenly, i see my gf walk ahead of me & yet i'm still holding onto "HER" hand.. i look at my gf going past me. i look down at my hand. i look behind me. and it's the creeper, smiling at me. i literally screamed and booked it. hahahhaha

- creeper #2 comes out of nowhere and starts dancing behind me. i motion to my girls about whether he's cute or not. and they give me a thumbs down. so i try to move away, but he keeps thrusting his fuckin' pelvis into my ass. so i finally just stand there and not move. and he gets bored & pissed and walks away.

- i almost get thrown out of the club for smoking in the bathroom b/c i was drunk & couldn't find a patio and really wanted to smoke. so security opened the girl's bathroom door and saw me and kicked me out. he took me to the bouncer to tell him to not let me back in. and i sweet-talked the bouncer and he just said, "ok.. don't do it again" and the security guy was pissed that i got let off

- i got burned by a drunk girl who was smoking and couldn't steady herself and her hand was flying everywhere!

- the ratio of the club is usually 50:1 (females to males) haha

- i took a nap on a guy's shoulder and had no recollection to this until the morning after. and i slapped myself after remembering.

- had to use the guy's restroom cause a girl threw up in the girl's restroom. i cut in front of 20 guys in line and told the first guy to make sure to not let anyone in the restroom. i was too drunk & apparently forgot to lock the door b/c as i was pee-ing, i heard the door open and then a guy yell, "SHUT THE DOOR! A GIRL'S USING THE BATHROOM!" hahaha. again.. i was too drunk to even care.

- a guy who was a beer keg for halloween was dancing behind me. and a part of his costume was that he had a beer bottle hanging out where his "you know" is supposed to be. that dance lasted like 5 seconds before i moved to another spot.

yes... even with all these experiences.. clubbin is worth it to me b/c i just love dancing with music on full blast and lights dimmed. i could be by myself and i'll still have fun. :)

i went to my bf's work over the weekend.
and i saw the cutest baby.
one of his coworker's baby girl.
like.. she was so ugly... that she was cute.. y'kno? hahah
and when i told my bf that, he was like, "how much must u like kids where u think that ugly babies are cute?"
seriously. i really want to be an elementary school teacher. not preschool because i want to actually talk to the kids. haha
but the dad let me hold the baby. and oh my gosh. i melted!
it was weird.. back when i was like in high school, i did NOT know how to hold a baby! every baby would cry once he/she was in my arms because i wasn't holding him/her properly.
but this baby.. oh my gosh.. like she just fit perfectly in my arms and was smiling the whole time while looking at me.
i told the mom i was gonna steal her baby.. hahaha

it feels really good to talk to a level-headed person. and by level-headed.. i mean non-judgmental. fuck... those kind of girls are really hard to come by these days.
it's like i already know everything. i'm trying to deal with things.. possibly with the help of other people. but if it's just gonna be people passing judgment.. how does that make things any easier for me? i'm better off just dealing with my life by myself. i've been doing it for almost a year now.. and i'm doing pretty fine.

so yeah.
i'm supppppperrrrr excited for saturday though! :)
god... i never thought i'd see the day where i'd actually look forward to weekends... i was in such a slump for a long time and now i'm backkk... hahaha

whatever

i'm waiting for 3 to roll around.
i don't know why i'm so exhausted. i slept at like 11:30 (after i HAD to watch nip/tuck & then watched some UFC). i woke up.. and seriously snoozed my alarm as much as i could. i was planning on leaving for work earlier so i could grab some starbucks on the way.
BUT i woke up @ 7 am.. got ready in 15 mins. and then it was too late to make any kind of pit stops.
i'm seriously dying right now. & i left my gym bag at home. which means that i'm gonna have to go home after work & THEN go work out. and that usually doesn't work out for me.. 95% of the time. once i'm home, i don't want to go out.. which means that i end up not going to work out.

hopefully it won't be like that today... haha

the coffee this morning was not delicious at all.. kalab warned me.. but i figured i would love it because i needed it so bad!
blah.. now i'm still tired... only 2 more hours to go at work. but i have to go to the gym after this.
i'm drained. mentally & physically...

i don't know why i'm feeling so sad.i honestly have no idea. it's just something's like poking my brain and i'm trying to ignore it, but it's affecting the way i act. i'm trying to ignore it b/c i have no idea what it is that's bothering me. maybe going to the gym today will help me.
hopefully, with the cardio & stretching, i'll be able to blow off whatever it is that's bugging me.

yum, one of the lawyers got me a coffee... i so need it. the smell is intoxicating!

at work right now.. i'm not taking my lunch until 1:30 because that's when my bf goes on his lunch & so we get to talk over the phone.
we're already looking forward to the weekend.
my lawyer boss is insane. every other word is "fuck" hahahhaa.
he's like that lawyer that miranda dated from "sex and the city". that's how wound up & crazy he is. no joke! he even kind of looks like him..... hahaha
weirdddd.
i was lost this morning. walking around the business park.
oh.. and the slit on the back of my skirt ripped.. way up......
i was SOOOO glad i happened to be wearing a scarf so i just wrapped it around my waist...
i don't know what i would've done otherwise.
it's like RIPPED...
i can't wait to go home & sew it back together... hahaha

my stomach's grumbling & i want some coffee.

err.... i was tryin to edit my previous blog entry & it got DELETED...
whatevers.. i said what i needed to say haha
& whoever got to read it, great! whoever didn't.. wasn't that important.
just me babbbling like always :)

i start work on monday. so i'm enjoying the free time i have until then.
of course, it gets boring when the bf comes home from work at like 9 or 10pm.. and then knocks out.. and then i watch family guy, george lopez, & cheaters by myself until i'm tired... haha
i can't wait to start working again.
i hate NOT working. it gets boring for me.

u kno what job would be awesome to have?
i want to be that guy in man v. food.. adam richman
can u imagine having a job in which u travel around and taste the country's best food???
omg.. i love that show.. my mouth is always drooling during the episodes!
ok.. so i have a small appetite in the sense that i get full really quick.. but i also get hungry really quick.
so maybe i wouldn't be able to beat any of the challenges.
actually i think that i could've beaten the ice cream challenge! it was like 1 lb. of ice cream, 10 scoops of whip cream, 5 bananas, or something like that. hahahaha. i mean i would've had to spend the whole day at the gym the next day, but that would've been pretty yummy!

omg. i'm watchin an episode right now. he's eating this italian beef sandwich thingy.. damn... i'm hungry!

my bf & i went to chris weir's bbq party last night. we went in there thinkin, "oh we should only stay like an hour or so since my bf has work early in the morning.." well... we actually overwelcomed our stay and eventually had to be kicked out with the rest of the late stayers... hahah. food was delicious! i ate a salmon burger, the "almost better than sex" cake, hot links, lemon meringue pie, chocolate cheese cake... yeah... i ate way too much dessert~
which explains why i woke up so bloated!!
it was definitely good times. i didn't drink b/c my baby was downing scotches.. haha and so i assumed i would be DD.
we spent most of the party outside on the couches next to the heat lamps :)

now i need to go & work out.. so i can work off all the food i pigged out on!
but im feelin pretty lazy right about now~~~~ haha

sometimes...
no.. a lot of times..
i really don't know what to believe.

job interview went great today. &.... i got the job!
i'll be working as a receptionist for a law firm. i love the environment. it's just a bunch of guys who like to have fun but still work hard.
apparently, the lawyer LOVED my resume. and not just the background history in my resume, but my cover letter is what caught his eye. he said that out of all the resumes he's received, my writing just stood out and how the sentences were structured correctly.
at the end, he was like, "you know what. i'm not beating around the bush anymore. you got the job. you start one week from this monday" :)

i've never had a job offered to me on the spot, so that felt pretty damn good!

and he was like, "yeah you're the face of this company because you're the first person a client sees when he walks through our doors.. so it's a good thing you're not butt ass ugly" hahahaha
i was like, "mm... thank you??" and he was like, "the receptionist needs to have a great smile.. which i've already seen you have. you're perfect. yeah, you got the job. i'm not gonna interview anyone else"
the business park is amazing. it's sooooo beautiful. i think i'm gonna love working here.
all the guys who work there seem realllll chill.
and apparently.. if i'm good at what i do and i work hard.. there's potential for bigggg raises!!!

here's to hoping!

so i saw this old coworker of my bf's when we visited his old work today~
and as soon as she saw me she was like, "you lost weight! u look like u got skinnier"
:) yayy.. i've only been working out a week.. but i guess it's showing?
motivation even more for me to keep this up!!
god.. i need to get back to my old weight in like my freshman year of high school. notice how i didn't say just "high school years".. b/c i got fat after my freshman year~ :)
i'm not totally depressed with my body right now.. but i definitely want to lose a few.. or 20.. haha

err.. i just ate chinese.. i wasn't even hungry, but we had chinese delivered to our place and if there's food in front of me.. i really can't say no~~

omg.. my head is hurting sooo bad.. like i have a fuckin' migraine or something~
my bf told me it's b/c i hadn't smoked a lot of cigs today.. fucked up huh?
yeah.. apparently my body needs it now.. (although i'm not like those cracked out smokers who are dying w/o a cig).. but my head is hurting pretty bad

yeah.. today drained me out..
i worked out again this morning~.. i was seriously about to go home b/c i was not in the mood to work out.. but i knew i would regret it~...
so i was glad i went. did 15 mins on the treadmill, 15 mins. on the elliptical. did my leg squat workouts.. 300 crunches.. and a whole lot of stretching! gotta keep my body flexible :)

fmylife.com
today, i went on a blind date. we had agreed on meeting in front of a park. thinking i was there first, i texted her "i'm already there, sitting next to the fat chick." i heard a beep. SHE was the 'fat chick.' FML.

ohhhhhhhhh my gosh... i laughed so hard when i read that one! hahaha

i just ate burger, fries & onion rings from carl's...
i hate myself.. haha
okay starting tomorrow.. gonna go back to eating well.
gonna go to the gym also tomorrow.. so that'll be good :)

halloween is comin up VERY VERY soonnnn...
and sooooooo i must get ready~~ i already have a costume picked out! :)
of course it'll stay a secret so i don't have any other girl wearing the same outfit as me~~

i want to start riding. but my friggin' bf won't let me saying that he doesn't trust my coordination.
too bad he doesn't know that once i start making money... i'm gonna take msf courses & start saving up for a bike~~
i'm only gonna get a 250.. for several reasons

• i'm too short.. (i'm only 5'4) so my feet won't touch the ground w/ a 600..
• i know i'll be too pussy shit to go really fast
• it's a safe bike to start with :)

i want my bike to look like... this!

it is so amazing to see how celebrities seem to get away with so many things. i'm not talking about having multiple sex partners, using drugs, or drinking at an early age. that's something a lot of people in the world get away with, whether they're famous or not.
but, i mean serious crimes.
take michael jackson (may he rest in peace). he was a great entertainer, there's no doubt about that, but he was a child molester.. it seems like since he was such a legend, people tend to forgive him of what he did. molesting little boys is an unforgivable act regardless of how great a person may be.
brandy got away with killing a mom and child because she was stupid enough to drive drunk. she left a husband and father to live alone. she took everything away from this man and she didn't even serve a jail sentence. i mean.. wtf is that???
and now roman polanski.. yes.. he's a great director. but now filmmakers are demanding that polanski be set free of his 1977 rape charges. back in 1977, he pleaded guilty to drugging and rapping a fuckin' 13-year-old girl. and he fled to france before he could receive a sentencing. and filmmakers are mad that police used a certain tactic to arrest him.

celebrities need to do time for their crime, regardless of how famous or talented they are.
this society can be so fucked up sometimes~~

You know how people always seem to say, "Oh you've changed since you have a bf now?"
The thing is... how does a girl not change in someway once they're in a relationship?
With me, i've heard that i'm not the "sexy, independent, crazy girl" anymore.. the flirty one who does crazy things... really?
What kind of girlfriend would i be if i do the same things right in front of my bf's face? what girl still goes flirting with random guys and just doing the off-the-wall things she used to do when she was single?
i sure as hell don't... a girl becomes a bit more calm when she's in a relationship..
and besides.. i'm hearing this from friends that i hang out with like once a year.. of course my personality is gonna be different b/c.. well #1.. they don't like my bf.. period. so i can never bring him out to any get-togethers we have.. #2.. since i know how they feel.. and they know how i feel.. there's a sense of awkwardness to it... of course i'm gonna be all awkward & a bit more reserved.. not the person that i was before... how do they expect me to be all normal when even they act all different around me?
whatevers.. seriously.. people can hate the person i'm with, but that just means they hate me b/c i'm with my bf.. i'm gonna be with him.. so if you hate him, you're hating me too.

i'm done. i'm starting my life fresh.. and he's gonna be in it. so accept it or not. it doesn't matter to me anymore.

I'm in san juan capistrano right now. Why in the hell am I in the middle of fuckin nowhere? I'm waiting for my bf to get off of work.. Still got another 3 hours to go.. I'm so bored.. But it's such a waste of gas for me to drive all the way back and then have to drive back to sjc to pick him up.

Haha earlier there was this guy who was trying to hit on me. He told me he needed to ask me a question. Me being naïve... I thought he needed directions or something. Haha

Well.. He asked me for my name and if I was from around here. I straight up told him that I was here because my bf works here. His reply: "oh shit.. *laughs* umm... So does that mean I can't have your number?"

Haha really? I laughed and was like yeah.. No not gonna happen. I mean he was good looking but doesn't mean I'm gonna just give my number to him like that.

i love tool academy..
sometimes..mm.. most times.. i feel like i can relate to what the girls go through
i love this week's episode b/c the challenge consists of the gfs going on dates with other guys and their bfs have to watch...
hey.. if these guys are gonna dish it.. they're gonna have to take it..
fuckin' guys think that they can cheat and not expect their gfs to do the same?
pshh...

i think love is mainly involved with taking a risk.
i don't see love as a safe haven for anyone.
you risk what you have for the one you love because you never know what the outcome will actually be.
i recently learned that you can't control love and for sure.. you can't control the one you love.
you just have to trust that things will be okay and that no one will stray from the path.. or take any detours.. or pit stops.
if you try and control the relationship you're in.. you might as well not be in a relationship.
there's just simply no point.
there have been a lot of things in the past that made me doubt his true intentions.
but if he says that he's changed and that this time it's different... then all i can do is believe him. and if i don't... then all i can do is leave him.
to me.. life's all about taking chances.. if i don't take a chance, then life becomes so monotonous.. and i am NOT one to live a monotonous life! :)

so here's to trusting, believing, and taking risks.
just please don't disappoint me.

worked out this morning. felt pretty damn good..
except for the weird guy next to me who kept staring at me while he was doing his exercises on the floor and i was next to him stretching.
he would literally stare at me while doing his pelvic thrusts exercise.
i hope he knows he shouldn't have his head turned while doing those exercises.. haha

on another note..
i decided to delete everything from my mind.
like my own amnesia type deal.
i want to go back to who i was.. strong, not giving a care in the world.
in order for me to go back to that... i have to erase moments from my life.. and i'm fine with that because the memories i have to erase are horrible ones....

i hope i'm doing the right thing.
please tell me that i'm doing the right thing.

sotm: 8eight - I Don't Have a Heart

If I say that I'm hurt, I'm scared that I'll really be hurt
If I say that I'm sad, I'm scared that I will shed my tears
So I just laugh...
But people ask me why I'm crying...

I don't have a heart..
So this way I can't feel pain

**

one thing I learned from my mom is to keep a smile on my face no matter how angry or sad I am.. because that way, something good will soon come my way.
I don't know how my mom did it for most of her life...
i wear my heart on my sleeve like no other.
It's something i'm definitely gonna adopt finally into my life.
well.. it's actually the only way i can go through this.
i'll just smile and force myself into thinking that everything's fine.
and eventually...? everything will work out on its own...
because God knows that i've done everything i could..
now it's just up to Fate to do his work.

i am so in love with megan fox.
i swear, i think she's the hottest woman alive. and it's not just her appearance, but i love her personality also. she seems so down to earth and awkward even.
if i ever saw her on the streets, i think i would straight up go to her and just say that i think she's the sexiest woman ever. haha
i've even told my bf that i wouldn't care if he cheated on me if it was her. hell, i'd be jealous! and the only way a 3-way would ever occur is if he could pull off persuading megan fox to join us... :)

i'm so obsessed with reality tv.. especially the dating shows.
i know it's all stupid and fake and everyone on there is just trying to become famous and not really in it for love, but that's the whole point! it's fun just watching how stupid people can get in order to become famous.
my ultimate guilty pleasure is tool academy. haha.
when i watch these shows, i always make my baby watch with me. and when some tool does something really stupid, i always ask him what his opinion on it is.
of course, my bf gives me some perfect answer and so i can't really say anything. haha.
he then asks me if i would ever put him on the show.
i just give him a look and shrug my shoulders and say that i wouldn't only because i don't want to be humiliated like that on tv.
seriously, finding out how much shit their bfs talk about them behind their backs.. i would never want that televised in front of the whole world to see (or wherever it is tool academy is aired).
and i especially would not want to find out if my bf cheated on me when everyone is watching, because if i found that out.. i would beat the shit out of my bf and then go fuck someone myself.
now... i can't really do all that on national television, right?

laying in bed right now..
my boyfriend's reading me "fmylife" stories to me.. haha it's like our pillow talk one night a week :)

it's amazing how he knows right when i'm feeling a bit off. well, i'm not that great at hiding my emotions because i pretty much wear my heart on my sleeve, but still. he knows exactly when i'm feeling sad, even though iiiiiiiii don't even know why i'm feeling down.
i'm actually worried about something but i hope everything turns out okay.

ok, gonna go have a smoke and then hopefully fall asleep.

just got back from the pool...
got a couple of hours in.. and some tanning~~
i love the sun. seriously.. i can't imagine ever living anywhere that's not sunny all year round (for the most part) and with a beach a few miles away~~
i'm such a socal girl.. without all the drama, the fake tits, and the blonde hair.. haha

life’s a bitch. no one said it was easy. people may think that once you have a ton of money rolling in, your life will be so easy.. that’s not true. money really doesn’t fix everything. it may buy you nice things and bring you temporary satisfaction, but it doesn’t make you happy. well.. okay i’m wrong. if you’re the type of person who becomes truly happy because of a material object, then yes, money can solve everything for you.

i like nice things. what girl doesn’t? but, it doesn’t make me happy. there are things in my life that are bringing me down, and there’s really no solution to it. well, okay there is a solution, but it won’t make me happy. it’ll just make the others around me happy.

am i so wrong in trying to live a life that i want to live? not by anyone else’s standards but my own?